Counselling for Men to Find Life’s Purpose

Mind’s Addictions & Heart’s Solitude

A man finds purpose in life by connecting with his heart deeply. He finds purpose by listening and integrating the voice of his heart with the voice of his mind. It sounds simple, but, most of the time, it takes the whole life to find this balance. It takes a great effort to let go the distracting addictions of the mind, in order to embrace the solitude voice of the heart. How can a man let go the “necessary noises” of the daily life, in order to discover and listen to his True Self? How can a man embrace the Wisdom Journey?

The Soul & The Sacred Wound

“The Soul has many secrets. They are only revealed to those who want them, and are never completely forced upon us… The way up is the way down, and vice-versa” whisper Rohr (2011, p.XVIII). Meaning: if you want the Diamond, you must go down towards your own darkness, fears, and projections. There lies the wound of the Heart. Once the Wound is processed, it becomes Sacred. T he True Self (or the Soul) is revealed.

A Life's Purpose is earned as one encompass the process of healing the inner wound. ‍‍It always involves grief work , a wise awakening to the traps of the addictive system we live in, and an acknowledgment of the five hard truths about life . These are three of the five main themes of the Authentic Male Journey. Check here the other two that is missing.

Counselling for men as an Initiation Point

Because of its difficulties and challenges, it is the right Path to take. It is the Journey to take as “the cure for lack of purpose is for a man to be challenged to live at the edge (by other blokes), since most men have lost the capacity to live there by themselves” ( Deida , 2004,p.191). Counselling for men can initiate this process, as it is a man to man session. Once a client feel more confident and familiar to his own suffering, it could be the time to join a Men’s Group and let the Wisdom Journey continue and, maybe later, becomes part of a sacred community of men.

Security - Aloneness - Men’s Group

The man’s journey to find purpose in life is difficult, narrow but possible.

It is difficult because our living system guides us to become addicted to the ways of the capitalism and individualism process we live in. How come one will let go a job that gives him security and provides for his family, just because his intuition or the voice of his heart is telling him to leave? Even though, it might be the Real Deal, how come a man can reconcile his duty as a husband & father, and follow his True Path?

It is narrow because there are not many men who take this path. Those who decide to take the Journey needs to be prepared to face a great time of aloneness, and in some ways, having to face the hardship of life on his own - or until he meets with his Wisdom Group, which can take a week or a fortnight (my personal experience).

It is possible… in a group. If you think you can embrace the Path on your own, forget it. It will be like winning an entire war that a whole nation lost like Rambo. It is a male fairy tale from Hollywood - not real. A man willing to go down the Deeper Journey is better served with a group of men who are on the same path and ready to be vulnerable, to feel uncomfortable, to be challenged and confronted. In this way, his distractions, procrastinations, fears and incongruencies will be exposed and named, making his ego or false self lose its power, and opening the second path. The Path where the Soul shows its face and let his Voice be heard.  

Felipe Oliveira is a Registered Counsellor for men to live an Authentic Life™.

To read about The Process of Life Transition among Men, click here.

To read about Men's Grief Work, click here.

Reference:

Deida, D. (2004). The way of the superior man: A Spiritual guide to mastering the challenges of women, work, and sexual desire. Sounds True. Canada.

Rohr, R. (2011). Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life.

Counselling for men looking for authentic purpose in life . Click here to know more about Felipe Oliveira's work as a counsellor . Or, please, continue reading this short article about the process in finding life's purpose.